I would like to share with you a story that happened one day with our sister Noura.

Noura is a mother of three children who works hard to take care of her family every day. One day after she finished ironing a big pile of clothes, before starting to put them away, her six year old called for her to help him, she ran to him and when she came back, her two year old daughter received her with a big beautiful smile, showing her mother the work that she did with the ironed clothes.  I can leave the rest to your imagination!

Let me ask you: If you are in Noura’s position, what would be your reaction?

Allow me to talk to you about one possible reaction.

In Saheeh Muslim, 635, `Aishah (RA) reported: The Prophet (SAW) said: “Having gentleness makes anything beautiful and taking it way of anything makes it unpleasant”

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم : ما كان الرفق في شيء الا زانه و ما نزع من شيء الا شانه

Also in the same book hadith 643, Prophet Mohammad (SAW) said : “O Ayesha, Indeed Allah is the Most Gentle, He loves gentleness, and He Gives for gentleness what he does not give for severity, and does not give for any other approach”

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم : يا عائشة ، إن الله رفيق يحب الرفق ، و يعطي على الرفق ما لا يعطي على العنف ، و ما لا يعطي على ما سواه  . رواه مسلم 

Allah (SWT) Loves gentleness!

If Noura chose to take a deep breath, smile back at her child and asked her daughter to kindly help her mum to collect the clothes and fold them with her, she indeed has chosen an approach that Allah (SWT) Loves, an approach that made her reaction beautiful, and an approach that Allah Gives for it more than any other!

I believe that your comment now is that this is not always easy, and yes, it is not easy to see 90 minutes of work all over the floor and just smile and be kind…

I also believe that you are absolutely right!

But let me ask you again, what is the possible approach for Noura to undo what her two year old did?

  • to educate a two year old without scaring or hurting her?
  • to keep calm and not loose temper?, and,
  • to be rewarded with the best reward from Allah (SWT) at the same time?

It’s helpful as well to look at what happened from the daughter’s point of view, what Noura’s daughter was trying to do is to copy her mother, but in her own fashion, she was trying to iron the clothes too and she expected her mum to be happy, she never intended to make her mother, that she loves so much, upset.

So, whenever you are in a similar situation, choose to be gentle, it is guaranteed – according to the hadith above to get the best reward, it is best for you to remain calm and not to allow anger to take place and it is also best for your child.

Look at what your children did from their perspective in order to understand them better.

May Allah (SWT) Bless you and your children, and Make it easy for you to enjoy educating them.




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    By: Nissrine Abdul Fattah

    Nissrine Abdul Fattah was born in Alexandria, Egypt. She went to primary school in Saudi Arabia at age of 5 and studied there until she finished high school with 97.96%, one of the top ten high school graduates in the country! She studied Quran memorisation, Tafseer, Tawheed, Fiqh, Hadith and Tajweed and later gained her ijaza of teaching the Holy Qur’an. Nissrine also studied Arabic language, grammar and literature in addition to several academics subjects. After High school she gained her chemical engineering degree in Alexandria University, Egypt,. Nissrine continued further studies of Java programming, NLP and sign language, she is also self-studied in personal development and coaching.

    Professionally, she worked as a teacher in Faculty of Education in Alexandria, and worked as the Principle of an international school in Egypt. She later was an Arabic language coordinator in a University in Lisbon until July 2015, she is currently teaching Quran, Tafseer and Arabic Language and coaching online!

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  • author's avatar

    One Story…many lessons

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52 thoughts on “Gentleness

  1. Assalamu Alaikum,

    Such a beautiful article. Masha Allah. and yes. sometimes its too hard to be gentle with kids.

    May Allah give us patience.

  2. Jazak Allahu khayran for your lovely post. To be honest if that happened to me I would probably cry. Then my 2 year old would probably hug me. Then all my anger would probably melt away. May Allah guide us all to become the best Mothers to our children Insha’Allah.

    • Jazana Allah wa eyakom. Barak Allah feeki for your kind words.
      It helps a lot when we try to look at it from their perspective.. hey want to show us that they can do like us 🙂

    • Jazaki Allah khairan for your time and sincerity 🙂
      let her understand why is it important to you to keep the cloths folded the way you left them.
      Also what do you think of giving her two or three pieces to fold them like you? 🙂
      educating our children should bring joy .. May Allah make that easy for us.

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